


Baby in a Box (or 5 Times Spock's Driver's Ed Lessons Didn't Help Much, and 1 Time They Did)

by tony_snark



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek (2009), Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: 5 Times, 5+1 Things, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-06
Updated: 2013-05-06
Packaged: 2017-12-10 14:32:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/787117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tony_snark/pseuds/tony_snark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Name me one time somebody found a baby in a box in the middle of space.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Baby in a Box (or 5 Times Spock's Driver's Ed Lessons Didn't Help Much, and 1 Time They Did)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [redhandsredribbons](https://archiveofourown.org/users/redhandsredribbons/gifts), [weatheredlaw](https://archiveofourown.org/users/weatheredlaw/gifts).



1.

 

“Name me one time somebody found a baby in a box in the middle of space.” Kirk leaned back in his chair, bringing the front legs off the ground, and swung his feet up on the desk with his ankles crossed.

Bones rolled his eyes.  “He’s just trying to scare us, Jim. There’s never been a baby in a box left floating out in space. Besides, it wouldn’t matter anyway. The baby’d be dead.”

Sulu, Chekov, Scott, and Uhura all looked mildly to increasingly affronted.

Spock looked unfazed. “The example is a tool to help students remember the importance of navigating around what may seem merely to be rubbish. There may be something dangerous hidden in such space debris.”

“But that’s illogical, Commander,” Kirk insisted. “Babies aren’t dangerous.”

Spock stepped in front of Kirk and paused.  Kirk leaned back even more, but his front chair legs rose a little too high in the air. The chair toppled all the way back with a crash, sending Kirk sprawling to the floor.

“I assure you my memory device is logical, Captain,” Spock said, without breaking stride, only the raise of an eyebrow to indicate he even noticed Kirk’s fall as he moved back to the front of the classroom. “I understand humans remember lessons better when given vivid examples for illustrative purposes.”

Kirk jumped up from the floor and made a show of straightening his clothes. “A little help?” he muttered to Bones, but Bones just shook his head with pursed lips and turned back to face Spock. Kirk sighed heavily. “Spock, why are _you_ even teaching this course?”

Spock cocked his head slightly to the left. “You will recall that Mr. Sulu and Mr. Chekov collided into another ship under _your_ command, Captain. Starfleet regulation states that all officers who have not taken navigation education must take this course in light of such events, and in case of emergency. Additionally, navigators must take a remedial course.”

“So, basically, I’m in Driver’s Ed?” Bones pursed his lips tighter. “I’m a doctor, not a teenager.” He pointed jabbed a finger at Sulu and Chekov. “Dammit, this is _your_ fault.”

Sulu and Chekov had the good grace to look embarrassed but remained silent. 

Kirk ignored them. “I know the regulations. I mean, _you’re_ a senior officer. You should sitting through these classes with us,” he said to Spock.

Now Spock look affronted. He stood up straighter, and Kirk tried not to smile. “I completed two navigation courses during my time at the academy. I thought it logical to—”

“Oh, so this is actually a punishment, for not thinking ahead? You like punishing me, huh, Spock?”

Spock opened his mouth, but Jim waved him off. “I’ll bet you anything, never in a million years will there be a baby in a box in the middle of space.” Kirk nudged Bones with an elbow, leaned back in his chair again, and put his feet back on his desk. “I’d take Spock for everything if we lived that long.”

“In that case, I will take your bet, Captain, if you will remember that Starfleet classroom regulations prohibit putting your feet on the desk.” Spock moved to sweep away Kirk’s feet.

Kirk quickly dropped his feet to the floor, sat up straight, and crossed his fingers in front of him.  “You’re on.”

 

2.

 

“You mean I can’t navigate with my Pearl Jam disc, my Counting Crows, my _Alanis Morrissette_?” Kirk placed a hand over his heart with feigned hurt.

“Again, Captain, this is merely an example to illustrate the importance of removing distractions—” Spock began.

“In all my years as a doctor and medical officer, I’ve never seen anyone come into my surgery with a disc lodged in their neck.” Bones crossed his arms and shook his head. “And I’ve never read about it in the literature.”

“Doctor, as I told the Captain, the veracity of the example itself is irrelevant, what is relevant—“ Spock started again.

“I plugged it into a search engine, and I came up with nothing,” Scott confirmed as he swept a finger over the screen of his PADD with a deep frown. “Nothing,” he repeated, with a shake of his head.

“Mr. Scott, I must ask that you cease using your PADD during classroom hours. Regulations—” Spock tried.

“How fast would you have to be traveling, exactly, to be decapitated by a disc?” Sulu wondered aloud with a thoughtful look.

“I did not say that one could be decapitated—” Spock tried again.

“You would have to travel at 4.812 times the speed of light and then come to a sudden stop,” Chekov supplied. He paused for a moment and ticked off four fingers. “Sorry. I mean, 4.983,” he revised.

Kirk stared at him for a moment. “Are you kidding me?” He turned to Spock. “Is he kidding us?”

Spock’s shoulders slumped ever so slightly. “Mr. Chekov’s math is correct.”

Sulu high-fived Chekov, while Uhura stared at him in awe. “How did you know that?” she asked. 

“I calculated the amount of force you would need to decapitate an average person with a disc, then I—” Chekov began. 

Kirk slapped the top of his desk. “Well, hell, I feel the need!” He looked at Bones with a grin. “The need for speed!” 

Spock shook his head once. “If you travel at such speeds, not only will you be in danger of decapitation, but you will likely be stopped, ticketed, and possibly jailed for such recklessness.”

Kirk frowned. “Spock… it’s from _Top Gun_.”

Spock only stared at him.

“The _movie_? No? Okay, that’s it. Movie night at my place after we’re outta here. Pizza, popcorn, soda, the works,” Kirk announced.

Spock’s shoulders slumped even more. “If you insist.”

Kirk smiled and yanked out his PADD. “I do!”

A moment later everyone’s PADDs dinged—except, Bones noticed, Spock’s. Bones checked  the incoming message from Kirk. “DO NOT COME TO MY QUARTERS TONIGHT. YOU ARE NOT INVITED,” it read. Bones glanced at Kirk, who was furrowing his eyebrows at Chekov and sweeping a finger across his throat. Bones’ eyes widened, and he glanced at Spock, who seemed none the wiser.

“You’ll love the movie,” Kirk added with a wide grin, as Spock resumed his lesson.

Bones sighed and put his PADD in his bag.

 

3.

 

A collective gasp filled the room as Spock clicked his pointer and brought up the next picture on the screen.

“Good god, man,” Bones exclaimed. “They don’t need to see this!”

“Surely you are not unaccustomed to such sights, Doctor,” Spock replied as he flipped to the next picture.

Uhura covered her mouth with a hand. “I think I’m going to be sick,” she groaned.

Spock paused. “You must all be aware of the damage caused by spaceship collisions. Approximately 1.2 million are killed in collisions every year.” He turned to Chekov and Sulu.  “In 31% of those collisions, speed is a factor,” Spock said pointedly.

Chekov’s lower lip trembled. “We didn’t kill anyone, sir,” he squeaked.

“And we’ve never mangled anyone like that,” Sulu agreed.

“I would’ve skipped lunch if I knew I was going to be seeing bodies that look like they were put through a trash compactor then burned.” Scott pushed away his sandwich.

Spock turned to Kirk, but Kirk only rested his chin on his folded hands, and remained quiet with a slight frown. 

After class, as Spock packed his things, Kirk sidled up next to him. “Captain,” Spock acknowledged.

“Spock,” Kirk began. He paused and bit his lip. “I think those showing those pictures today was inappropriate.” Spock raised an eyebrow, and Kirk put up a hand. “Chekov and Sulu are the best navigators in Starfleet, and the accident wasn’t even their fault.” Kirk sighed. “Besides, they _know_ the dangers, Spock,” he added in a lower tone.

“It is my duty as an instructor to—”

“Spock, we made our reputation on being one of the few survivors of the near annihilation of the fleet.” Kirk squared his shoulders. “They _know_ the dangers.”

Spock opened his mouth before closing it tight.  He seemed to consider Kirk’s words. Finally, Spock nodded once, a sharp up and down, before resuming packing his things. Kirk smiled weakly. He knew they’d reached some kind of understanding.

 

4.

 

Kirk rocked violently back and forth before coming to a sudden and jarring stop. “I crashed,” he whined.

“This is the third time in a row, Captain. You must make one successful flight before graduating this course,” Spock admonished. At least it sounded like an admonishment to Kirk.

“You try driving this thing!” Kirk threw his hands in the air. “This isn’t as easy as it looks.”

“It’s a simple simulation, actually. Starships have more complex navigation systems,” Sulu said with a smirk. Kirk narrowed his eyes.

“Mr. Sulu is correct, sir. By Starfleet standards, a small child should be able to operate this simulator,” Chekov added as he inspected the controls. Then his eyes widened as he seemed to realize what he said. “Sir,” he added.

“To use an earth expression, it is no more difficult than riding a bike,” Spock agreed.

Kirk threw up his hands. “Bullshit! I _know_ how to ride a bike, and if was the same, then I’d already know how to navigate a ship, and I wouldn’t even be here. Also? This simulator is _broken_.” Kirk huffed and began to climb out of the simulator. “Bones, _you_ try this thing.”

Bones crossed his arms and shook his head. “Flying is for birds. Plus, you heard Spock. Approximately 1.2 million people are killed in collisions. And, you know who has to stitch ‘em back together?” Bones jabbed a thumb at his chest. “ _Me_.  I’m a doctor, dammit, not a navigator.”

Uhura heaved a loud sigh and rolled her eyes. “I’ll drive the simulator, you big babies.” She hopped up into the simulator. “But I need a co-pilot.”

“Happy to oblige!” Scott said cheerfully as he climbed in beside her.

Kirk shook his head as they took off, and the simulator began to pivot back and forth.

“I have noted several times during my lessons that navigators are paired when operating ships. Perhaps you would crash less often,” Spock suggested.

Kirk raised an eyebrow. “That sounded suspiciously like a joke, Mr. Spock.”

Spock only tapped his stylus on his PADD screen and made a check mark next to CO-PILOT.  Kirk huffed.

“Do you _really_ think this is like riding a bike?”

Spock didn’t look up from his PADD. “I would not know.”

Kirk cocked his head. “Wait. You wouldn’t know? Oh my god, are you saying you don’t know how to ride a bike?” He laughed loudly enough that Bones, Chekov and Sulu glanced at him before turning back the simulator where Uhura and Scott were performing a particularly tricky parking job.

“On Vulcan we did not have need for bicycles, nor did the terrain allow for it,” Spock said stiffly, while still marking his PADD.

Kirk bounced on his heels. “Well, we’re stuck on Earth until this class is done, so I’m gonna personally teach you how to ride a bike! Aw, c’mon, don’t look like that. I won’t even make you use training wheels,” he teased.

Spock finally looked up from his PADD with an expression as close to pleading as Kirk had ever seen. “Captain, that will not be necessary…”

Kirk grinned. “Oh my god.  I’m buying a tandem bike. I’ve always wanted a tandem bike. I hear those are harder to ride than they look. But, we’ll figure it out. Hey.” Kirk paused. “Maybe you should be my co-pilot on the next run? Get the tandem training thing started?”

The simulator stopped moving. “Smooth landing!” Uhura said with a fist pump. Scotty and Sulu fist bumped.

“Our turn!” Kirk called as he sprinted toward the simulator. Spock pursed his lips and handed Bones his PADD before striding over and climbing into the simulator beside Kirk.

 

5.

 

Kirk eyed the spread of various pizzas, heaps of wings, and containers of soda. Not even synthesized soda, but _real_ soda. He made a beeline for his favorite, meat lovers deluxe and Dr. Pepper Retro. He nearly had his hands on a piece when someone slapped his hand.  “Ow!” Kirk yelped, only to look up into the frowning face of Bones. “Bones, what the hell?”

“We all paid the five credits, Jim, fair and square. We all agreed,” Bones said, as he grabbed a slice of plain cheese and took a bite 

“Are you kidding me? I’m the one who convinced Spock to let us have a graduation pizza party in the first place. I deserve a slice for that alone.” Kirk reached for another slice only to have the lid close in front of his fingers. “Et tu, Sulu?”

“We all paid, and I had to borrow the money from him.” Sulu hiked a thumb at Chekov. “But I still paid.”

Chekov nodded as he grabbed some wings.

Kirk’s eyes widened. “You? You paid for both of you? You’re the ones that got is in here!”

“Yep, under _your_ command, Captain,” Uhura said as she sauntered up, munching a breadstick.

“I learned a lot!” Scott exclaimed with a smile before taking a big swallow of what should have been Kirk’s Dr. Pepper.

“We all paid our part,” Chekov said around the wing in his mouth.

Kirk rubbed his neck with one hand. “Okay, that’s fine. You think you guys got me down? Nope. I’m going to ask Spock for some pizza.”

Bones and Uhura both began to laugh. “He’s going to see right through you, Jim. You didn’t pay,” Bones warned.

“We’ll see,” Kirk said before marching off to find Spock, who sat at his desk with a half-eaten slice of cheeseless veggie lovers in front of him and his PADD. “Hey, Spock. Why aren’t you enjoying the party?”

“You cannot have any pizza, Captain. All of the other students paid their credits,” Spock replied without looking up from his paperwork.

Kirk feigned a hurt expression and opened his arms wide. “I’m just trying to get you to join the party, Spock. Besides, look, I donated my last few credits to an Earth charity. They really needed the money.”

Spock looked up from his PADD and, Kirk thought, looked unimpressed. “Doctor McCoy reliably informed me that you lost your last few credits from this week’s stipend playing poker with cadets.”

Kirk’s mouth fell open, and he glanced over at Bones, who waggled his eyebrows and waved. Kirk crossed his arms. “Well, fine. I don’t want any of this pizza anyway. It looks nasty and cold, and _I’m_ the one that thought of this freakin’ party _anyway_. And it’s the most boring party I’ve ever been to. I’m outta here.” 

Kirk stormed out of the classroom and stood in the hallway for a few minutes fuming to himself, before it dawned on him that he had nowhere to go. All of the people that he ever spent time with were in the classroom. He sighed and trudged back into the room. He was just about to ask Bones to spot him the credits when he saw a paper plate on his desk. On top of it were two slices of mushroom and spicy Italian sausage pizza, a small heap of wings, and a breadstick. Next to it was a container of Dr. Pepper.

Kirk’s lips parted, and he looked around. Everyone studiously refused to meet his gaze. “Okay, who did this? Who do I owe five credits? C’mon, fess up. I’m sure as hell not going to do you a surprise favor later, so it doesn’t matter, just spill.” When no one answered, Kirk shrugged his shoulders and sat down to eat.

It wasn’t until after he’d nearly finished that he noticed the “IOU” taped to the bottom of the plate.

No name, but Kirk recognized that handwriting anywhere. He’d seen it on a thousand boring ship manifests and field reports. He turned to Spock, who looked from his PADD and held his gaze for a few silent seconds before turning back to his work, and Kirk felt something warm bubble in his chest.

 

1.

 

On a routine supplies run, they passed a trash compactor collecting bits of jettisoned trash that spaceships let loose as not to upset the weight of their ships. Sulu and Chekov carefully maneuvered around the bits of trash, food, torn clothing, and empty boxes, while Spock monitored his scanners.

Kirk roused out of his boredom-induced daze when he saw Spock sit up straight—well, straighter—and recheck his readings. He leaned forward. “Commander Spock, is there a problem?”

Spock swiveled his chair to face Kirk. “I have picked up a life sign on my scans.”

Kirk smiled and relaxed. “Compactor operators, Spock. You had me worried.”

Spock shook his head. “The life sign is amongst the debris, Captain.”

Kirk’s eye’s widened and he scooted forward in his chair. “What the hell?” he mumbled under his breath before pressing the button for the sick bay. “Bones, prep yourself. We might need a doctor.”

“I hear ya,” Bones voice crackled through. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know yet,” Kirk said. He released the button. “Mr. Chekov, Mr. Sulu, slow down and be extra careful. Lieutenant Uhura, try and establish contact with whoever’s floating around out there.”

Uhura nodded, and a beat later furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “Lieutenant?” She frowned.  “All I can hear is crying. Are they hurt?”

“The sign is emanating from quadrant 498.39302, latitude 84.8, longitude 38.52,” Spock supplied.

“Chekov, magnify,” Kirk demanded. Everyone turned to face the screen as Chekov complied.  As the image filled the screen, the entire bridge fell silent.

After a long moment, Kirk jumped to his feet. “No freakin’ way!”

“Is that—“ Uhura began.

“It is,” Spock said.

“There’s a baby in that box,” Sulu said in awe.

Kirk stared at the image of a little crying baby wrapped in a blanket and a small protective space suit, floating inside of a large, cardboard box. He shook himself and turned around to buzz sick bay and the control room. “Mr. Scott, get a signal on 498.39302, latitude 84.8, longitude 38.52.  Beam aboard. Bones, you won’t believe what’s waiting for you in the control room.”

Later, after everyone had settled down and Kirk had made contact with the crew of the trash compactor, he relaxed in his quarters, attempting to finish his situation report. He had just about given it up for the day when he heard a buzz.

“Enter,” Kirk said as he pushed the PADD away from him.

Spock stepped into the room. Kirk had never been so happy for the distraction. “Spock, I’m glad to see you. This report is making my eyes cross. Chess game?”

Spock sat down across from Kirk. “I can finish the report, if you’d like, Captain. Doctor McCoy has reassured me that the child is safe, and after speaking with the captain of the compactor ship, I believe it was a strange accident.” Spock reached under Kirk’s desk, pulled out the chess set, and began to assemble the pieces.

Kirk flopped back in his chair. “This is why these trash companies need better childcare services, Spock. You bring your kid to work and set them down for a second, and someone’s jettisoning them out with the trash!”

Spock moved some of his pieces and pushed Kirk’s toward him. “Indeed. I also believe this demonstrates the need for adequate childcare aboard spaceships. I also believe that you are in my debt.”

Kirk laughed. “Because you saw the baby? Yeah, good job. Count on you to monitor for signs of life even in the dead of space.”

“You miss my meaning. During our navigation education classes you said, and I quote, ‘I’ll bet you anything, never in a million years will there be a baby in a box in the middle of space’. I believe you lost that bet.”

Kirk’s mouth opened and closed. “Of course you would remember that. Okay, okay. You were right. But I call foul. You said yourself that you were making that up to make a point.”

“Nonetheless,” Spock replied.

Kirk smiled and began to assemble his own chess pieces. “Fair’s fair. But I don’t think I have anything you want,” Kirk said with a shrug. “If it’s money you want, I’m fresh out. I really need to stop playing poker with Uhura. She fleeces me every time.” Kirk shook his head. “You can have my everlasting love and affection for being the most awesome first officer and greatest friend ever, if that’ll do it,” he said with a laugh.

Spock considered this for a long moment, and his eyes lowered to his remaining pieces. He fiddled around with some of them, and Kirk thought it seemed suspiciously like a nervous gesture. “Do you consider us friends?” Spock asked, quietly.

Kirk stared at Spock. “Do I—? Spock, you’re probably my best friend. Definitely my best if something ever happens to Bones. Why would you ask me that? Hell, if I had my way—” Kirk stopped.

Spock looked up at him, and Kirk felt himself flush. Leave it up to Spock to make this awkward. 

“Jim?” Spock asked after a beat.

Kirk laughed nervously. “I just— well, what I mean is— uh, I wouldn’t mind if we hung out more.” He internally kicked himself for his cowardice. He reached out to grab a chess piece from his desk. Spock reached for the same piece and they touched hands. They both froze, and Spock flushed a light shade of green. Still, they let the touch linger, until Kirk laughed even as something lurched pleasantly in his chest.

Spock began to pull away, and Kirk placed his hand over Spock’s.

“I do not see the levity,” Spock said stiffly. “On Vulcan—“

Kirk smiled. “I know, it’s a big deal. It’s just, how ridiculous is this? I’ve kind of been wanting to hold hands with you for months now, and we both reach for the same chess piece? It’s like a scene out of rom com.” Spock raised an eyebrow. “A romantic comedy. A movie. Okay, remind me to schedule us for another movie night.”

“Will the other officers join us this time?” Spock asked.

Kirk started when he saw the corner of Spock’s lips turn up into what passed for a smile on his face. He was sure he would’ve missed it if he didn’t know him so well.

“Nope!” Kirk said cheerfully, as he wrapped his hand more fully around Spock’s. “Just me and you.” Kirk lazily trailed the pad of his thumb in the spaces between Spock’s fingers. He could swear Spock’s breath stopped for a second, and Spock definitely flushed a darker shade of green. This wouldn’t be all that difficult after all. He smirked and stopped his motions for a moment.

Spock seemed to regain some composure, and nodded. “I must remind you that you are in my debt, so I will pick the film. I must also remind you that you said my example of a baby in a box was illogical,” Spock pointed out.

“Just no documentaries, please.” Kirk squeezed Spock’s hand, and Spock regarded him closely.  “And, I was wrong. This is completely and utterly logical, Mr. Spock.”

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to redhandsredribbons and yugimutos for their ideas and recollections. Many more thanks to redhandsredribbons for beta'ing, rewriting some bits, generally making this readable, and adding the hand touching at the end.


End file.
